Environmentalists and Creationists Find the Common Ground
Posted by greg2213 on March 1, 2013
It’s very simple. Since everything bad is caused by humans and since without humans nothing bad would ever happen, the dinosaurs must have been killed by humans!!!
Terrific parody here:
(AP) – It was as odd a gathering as it was unexpected. Several hundred scientists, representing over two-dozen of North America’s most respected universities and institutes, holding a weeklong seminar with “creationists” who reject evolution and modern theories about the age of the earth. And they had gathered not to debate, but to promote a common goal – to make it known that humans and dinosaurs did indeed exist together at the same time.
“I’m very proud to have been able to put this conference together,” Dr. Edward Schoenfeld, professor of environmental science at UCLA, told the AP. Dr. Schoenfeld is a leading voice in the fastest-growing sector of the scientific community – the Anthropogenicists. “Anthropogenicists understand that all things on earth are, and have always been, man-caused.
Weather, climate, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, oceanic temperatures, red tides, species extinctions, and species-on-species violence. It’s all man-caused,” Dr. Schoenfeld explained. “Without humans, there would be nothing in this life but bliss. Animals would live together in peace, in perfect mild temperatures, with no threats beyond a natural death from old age.”
Dr. Schoenfeld’s organization, the Anthropogenic Scientific Scholars Educational Society, has been at the forefront of forcing governments to face the consequences of man-made global warming. “We’ve done amazing things. We’ve gotten governments to raise taxes, ban energy production, close factories, outlaw asthma inhalers, force people to use mercury-filled lightbulbs, and even install non-energy consuming traffic lights that can’t be seen when it snows.
Every time a human is killed by one of those things, I think to myself, another small victory for Anthropogenicism,” said Dr. Andre Billaud, chair of the environmental sciences department at the University of Oregon. Dr. Billaud has been on the forefront of the recent attempts to ban and stigmatize cat ownership, on the grounds that it creates a climate of violence between cats and rodents.
“The anti-science know-nothings will claim that cats killing rodents and birds is ‘natural.’ That it is part of some koo-koo concept of a ‘natural order.’ Such ignorance!” Dr. Billaud proclaims. “It is, like everything else, human-caused. In Anthropogenicism, one finds the answers to all environmental issues.”