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My Own View of Global Warming

Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Heh. Climate Math

Posted by greg2213 on August 7, 2010

Definitely an “in joke.” From ClimateAudit:

Gavin explained his frustration stemmed from people asking the same question over and over when it was already answered. He then reveals something new and closes the thread. We carry on here with one unknown guy trying to defend mann.

That’s the PROBLEM.

Mann: 2+2=5
McIntyre No, 2+2=4
Mann; thats bizarre
Mc: 2+2=4, just say it Mike
Mann: it doesnt matter, look over here we say 3+3=6
Mc: 2+2=4
Mann: it doesnt matter, ask gavin
Amac: ya 2+2=4
Mann: it doesnt matter
Mosher: Can anybody besides steve just say that 2+2=4
Dehog: You said Piltdown Mann once.
Mc: 2+2=4
Gavin: it doesnt matter:
Tiljander: 2+2=4
Arthur Smith: I”ll look into it.
Amac; 2+2=4
Gavin: Can we change the subject, we said it doesnt matter.

Here’s the rest of the post: Mosher on Gavin’s “Frustration”

Mosher does a longer one as a WUWT comment:

Mann: 2+2=5
McIntyre: No, 2+2=4
Mann: thats bizarre
Mc: 2+2=4, just say it Mike
Mann: it doesnt matter, look over here we say 3+3=6
Mc: 2+2=4
Mann: it doesnt matter, ask gavin
Amac: ya 2+2=4
Mann: it doesnt matter
Mosher: Can anybody besides steve just say that 2+2=4
Dehog: You said Piltdown Mann once.
Mc: 2+2=4
Gavin: it doesnt matter:
Tiljander: 2+2=4
Arthur Smith: I”ll look into it.
Amac; 2+2=4
Gavin: Can we change the subject, we said it doesnt matter.
Mosher: can you say 2+2=4
Lambert: Fuller is full of it.
Bishop: Mike said 2+2=5, but 2+2=4
Tamino: Bishop said 2+2=5
Mc: Bishop was explaining Mann.
Amac: 2+2=4
Kloor: why can’t we reason together?
Gavin: we try, but they wont read our answers.
Amac: 2+2=4
Gavin: There he goes again, please shut him up.
Mc; 2+2=4
RC commenter: Do your own science Mcintyre
Mc: 2+2=4 is not publishable. Mann needs to correct this.
Mann: its all in the SI
Amac: hey mann website now says 2+2=4
Gavin: The exact value of 2+2 is uninteresting. move along
RC commenter: Hey McIntyre said 2+2=5
Mc: no I didnt
RC commenter: oops, my bad, but I’m right in spirit
Gavin: discussion over, lets talk about the black list.
Kloor: all you people who think 2+2=4, can discuss this further.
Scientist: Tiljander’s paper wasn’t perfect, lets pressure test her.
Amac: but 2+2=4
Scientist: Can you give me a reading list?
Bender: read the whole blog.
Amac: in summary 2+2=4
Deltoid Commenter: tw pls tw eqls fr
Lambert: You’ve been disemvoweled
Amac: 2+2=4
Hank Roberts: I can’t find Amac on google scholar
Jim Praul: Good I’ll put him on the list.
Shell Oil: 2+2 =4
Deep Climate: that proves McIntyre’s Oil connection.
Briffa: I got 2+2=3
Harry: I didnt write that code.
Mann: Keith, hide that decline, here borrow 2 from me.
Jones: Keith, we match Mann now 2+2=5
Obsborn: Somebody email Amman and see what he thinks.
RyanO: good luck with that, Amman never answers mail
Palmer: Perfect, ask him if our mail is confidential.
Jones: I think Amman would agree,deny the FOIA
Briffa (CONFIDENTIAL) gene, McItyre says 2+2=4. Can you help.
Wahl: We replicated his work, 2+2=5
Holland: I heard that.
Amac: 2+2=4
Amman: Oh MAN! will this crap ever end?? (
RyanO: Hey, how’d you get Amman to answer mail?
YAD061: 2+2=5 (+-6sigma)
Brian Angliss: Lots of mails you havent read might say 2+2=4
Santer: Amac, you and me in the alley.
Dehog: Christy Believes in God.
Spencer: wrong skeptic, dehog.
God: 2+2=4
Jones: Dear God, delete your mail
Overpeck: Keith we need something more compelling than the Hockey stick
Briffa: 2+2=4.1?
Overpeck: MORE compelling keith
Wigley: McIntyre may have a point on this 2+2=4 thing.
Mann: “Who knows what trickery has been pulled or selective use of data made.”
Eli rabbet: Spencer made a mistake, therefore, 2+2=5
Amac: 2+2=4
Briffa: I got it, Peck, 2+2=5
Mann: I said that first.
Gavin: In a massive waste of time and money Independent researchers have investigated this uninteresting thing.
Moshpit:{ slaps forehead}
Shell Oil: Hulme we gave you 2 million last month and you want another 2 million?
Hulme: Ya, 5 should be enough. Pachauri, promised us 6, so that makes 12.
Shell oil: Who is your accountant?
Hulme: Wei-Chyung Wang, at Suny
Jones: He keeps great records ask Keenan.
Amac: 2+2=4.
Deltoid commenter: can I buy a vowel?
Lambert: buy 2 get 2 free
Mann: He doesnt need 5, Tim, sheesh.
Judith Curry: can you boys please stop this nonsense
Mann: They started it
Mc: did not
Gavin: did too
Amac: did somebody say 2? 2+2=4

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Global Warming Causes UFOs!!

Posted by greg2213 on May 24, 2010

Heh. From the Telegraph (in 2008:)

Malcolm Robinson, who studies the phenomenon, said: “Something very bizarre is happening in the skies over the UK.”

The founder member of Strange Phenomena Investigations, added: “There has been an unusual number of sightings recently.

“Some experts believe it could be linked to global warming and craft from outer space are appearing because they are concerned about what man is doing to this planet.”

Actually, they probably consider us to be a ongoing source of amusement.

Zoc’Thurch and po!Krilln are munching snacks in the entertainment area while !chok! maintains their UFO’s altitude and anti-detection systems, somewhere around (and some distance above) London.

“Hey Zoc’Thurch! Did you hear the latest? They actually think warming will kill most of the population!”

“Yeah, they’re nuts. Wouldn’t see the cooling even if a glacier rolled over their domiciles. But !chok! says it’s all a calculated ploy by the ruling class to gain political power. He doesn’t think anyone outside the money stream believes a word of that (deleted.)”

“Pfff… !chok! has no sense of humor. Hey, it’s time for Quizical Science Theater 21,000. They’re featuring a debate between Gore, Hansen, and some writer named Pachauri.  Should be hilarious. I wonder if we should pop in mid-interview?”

“You gormphwip… their “intelligensia” (stifles a chuckle) are going nuts over a trivial amount of natural warming. What’ll they do if something real pops in, right in front of them? Even if it’s you?”

“Hey! I could tell them that it really IS worse than they thought and that they have only 6 months left before the planet burns up! I’m not from there, so they’d certainly believe me, right? I won’t even mention the plans the others have for them. ”

“They’d probably just lock you up in a deep hole somewhere… too disruptive to their show. Speaking of which, QST is starting…”

Of course, it has been said that aliens cause global warming

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Hilarious Headlines and Predictions

Posted by greg2213 on May 18, 2010

Ya know, when talking to people believing in “global warming,” aka “climate change,” I suppose the first question to ask would be something like, “So what, exactly, do you believe GW to be?” I got into a discussion with someone a while back and assumed him to be a Gore type believer. He actually turned out to be quite reasonable, though he disagreed with my “scam” remarks. .

There’s a group of people who believe there has been some degree of warming, but they’re far from Al Gore’s inconvenient fantasy. Then there’s the Al Gore crowd, of course, with its demands to make the world safe for Mr. Gore’s investments from the CO2 menace. And then there’s the crowd that makes Mr. Gore’s predictions seem to be perfectly sane, rational, reasonable… Such as the people responsible for this headline:

Over 4.5 Billion people could die from Global Warming-related causes by 2012

WUWT has the story, and calls it the Most idiotic global warming headline ever

The commenters point out that’s it’s 2007 article (with a 2010 date) and that the “paper” and the author are a bit “iffy.”  It’s also pointed out that since the cataclysm is so near that we should skip all the green exercises and enjoy ourselves, since it won’t make any difference (too little time to even get started planning for the mitigation.)

Of all the wacky, nonsense headlines about GW predictions over the years, this one has to be the wildest.  I’m sure that Mr. Gore would be proud of the hype, except for the fact that with that much human devastation the value of his investments would go way down.

But then without the warming hype there would be less grant money, less power for eco groups, fewer donations to green groups, elimination of the carbon trading scam, fewer tax revenues for our insanely greedy governments, etc. There’s just soooooo much money involved that it has to be real, right?

And then, there’s the crowd that wants to see massive depopulation of our little planet. I’m sure they’d be right with the cataclysm and cheer it on. As long as it didn’t affect them. Oh, is that remark too extreme? Then read this.

Posted in Jokes, Predictions | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Interview With a Climate Scientists

Posted by greg2213 on February 23, 2010

Pajamas Media interviews Dr. Schwätzer on what’s really happening with climate science.

Posted in Jokes, Scientists Say | Leave a Comment »

EUreferendum & IPCC Head Pachauri

Posted by greg2213 on January 25, 2010

EU Referendum, by Richard North,  has been running a series of articles laying out the money trails behind R.K. Pachauri, head of the UN IPCC. Let’s just say that Mr. P. is turning out to be very well connected and I’m sure he would like the EU R. to just disappear as Mr. North has been rather annoying…

EU R. Vs. The Black Knight

Pic found on the web. Should I add, “with apologies to Monty Python?”

Here’s Richard’s latest post on Pachauri: An endangered species and his listing of related articles. If you’re a bit skeptical of the EU you might want to read the rest of the blog, as well.

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Official US Temperature Station

Posted by greg2213 on January 16, 2010

The US (and much of the rest of the world) has a set of temperature stations, made to exacting standards and carefully maintained. These are used to provide data for both weather calculations and governmental carbon trading and “tax them until they bleed” schemes, er… climate control policy.

Naysayers have been criticizing the stations for various reasons. Obviously these guys are a few marbles short of a full bag and should be ignored. Questioning the dogma, er.. scriptures, er… science of the IPCC (and Co.) is very poor form.

Here’s a pic of one of the official stations used by the NOAA, and probably the UN IPCC and in various hockey stick projections.I guess Al Gore was right, after all!

(From Failblog)

By the way – if you really don’t get the joke, check out

Posted in Jokes, Measurements | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »